Imagine how much hard work it would be if you spent every day pretending to be someone else. Yet how many of us are actually doing just that every single day of our lives by trying to be something we're not for fear of actually being ourself?
In order to be truly happy within yourself, it's quite simply a case of being exactly that - yourself!
The response that I often get to that statement is: "it's not that easy". You're right, it's NOT easy. But it IS that simple.
The challenge is stripping away all those layers that we put on in order to protect ourselves, to cover our insecurities and to fit in with society. In other words, what we put on in order to NOT stand out and to NOT be the full uniqueness of ourself.
Every one of us is a mass of strengths, weaknesses, skills, insecurities, vulnerabilities, talents, feelings, knowledge and more. We are formed from all our experiences and influences throughout our life built on a foundation that is the essence of who we truly are. Some of these experiences and influences will enhance that essence, others less so, and some will dampen our essence enough for us to extinguish some of what it is that makes us us. We learn that sometimes it feels ok to be ourself and at other times it's perhaps best not to be. But each time we are not truly being ourself then we are allowing others to decide how we should be, and we are negating who we really are. Or we are allowing past (negative) experiences to determine, and stop us enjoying, our present.
It's difficult to be strong when you feel weak. But feeling weak is just a symptom of being vulnerable. The truth is that being vulnerable is actually the greatest opportunity you have to find your real strength and your real self.
You may feel vulnerable, for instance, when you try something new, when you return to something old, when you want to tell someone how much you care or when you want to disagree. Something is driving you, and the reason that you feel so vulnerable is because the issue in hand is so important to you! If it wasn't important then you wouldn't care so much.
So next time that you feel vulnerable and exposed, remind yourself that this is just the true you asking to be heard. You have no control over the response of others, but you do have control over your response to yourself. Respond positively to yourself and you will strengthen who you are. The real you may come out in different ways, and it may feel out of control for a while. But if you trust yourself then the real you will discover how to be completely itself within the world around it. You will become stronger and it will become easier. It will become so much easier than it was being someone you're not!
And when you will look back you will realise that it was indeed quite simple, and although not necessarily easy, it was definitely worth the short term pain for a lifetime of gain.
Til tomorrow :-)
CT :-) x
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